THE PLANET IS FINE ... AND SO AM I

I HAVE TO ADMIT, I WAS INITIALLY DISAPPOINTED WHEN THE BIG HUM BEGAN LAST WEEK AND I DIDN'T WITNESS FROM UP HERE IN SPACE (I'VE GRADUATED TO OPTICS NOW)(YEP, I'M IN THE ISS)(NO, I'M NOT THE FRIGGIN' VIRUS) THE EARTH DISAPPEAR INTO NOTHINGNESS. BUT, NOW THAT I'VE SEEN THE BEAUTIFUL FLATTENED BALL OF BLUE-GREEN SPINNING FROM UP HERE, I REALIZE HOW INSIGNIFICANT WE ALL ARE, HOW THE UNIVERSE KEEPS ON MANAGING IT'S BUSINESS, NO MATTER WHAT KIND OF MISCHIEF YOU POOR PIECES OF CARBON BASED CHEMISTRY CARRY ON, KILLING EACH OTHER AT THE DROP A HAT, OR AT THE RELEASE OF PARTICULARLY WET SMELLY FART, OR PERHAPS FROM THE SURPRISE OF A VIOLENT SNEEZE YOU SQUEEZE THE TRIGGER A NANOSECOND TOO SOON, OR MAYBE FOR NO REASON AT ALL, OR TO BE FAIR, MAYBE BECAUSE SOMEONE'S BRAIN FELT UNCOMFORTABLE, OR THEIR BALLS WERE ITCHY OR THEY HAD A RATHER UNAPPETIZING BREAKFAST AT THE GREASY SPOON ACROSS FROM THE OVERCROWDED CHILDREN'S PLAYSCHOOL AND THE IMAGINARY AARDVARK IN THEIR HEAD THOUGHT IT'D BE A GOOD IDEA TO VISIT AND WREAK HAVOC AS A WAY TO ATTRACT ATTENTION AND GET ON TEEVEE, OR MENTIONED ON TALK RADIO, AT THE VERY LEAST. THE AARDVARK HASN'T LIED YET, WHY START LYING NOW, RIGHT?
SO, I THINK MYSELF LUCKY, WAY UP HERE, LOOKING DOWN, NO WORRIES, NO MORE PAIN, NO MORE REAL PAIN ANYWAY, I STILL HAVE MEMORIES, AND I THINK, IT'S TIME FOR ME TO GO NOW, CATCH A WAVE, AN ELECTROMAGNETIC WAVE, AND SURF THE UNIVERSE, AND BE ONE WITH GIANT HUM. I'M SURPRISED MORE ASTRONAUTS DON'T TURN THEIR SPACESHIPS AWAY FROM THE EARTH, NEVER TO RETURN. AFTER THIS, SPLASHDOWN MUST BE SUCH A LETDOWN. SO, HAVE FUN. HAVE SEX. MAKE BABIES. KILL EACH OTHER. FART SHIT CUM UNTIL YOU DROOL MONKEYS HAVE SPENT YOURSELVES. THE EARTH WILL BE FINE, SO WILL THE UNIVERSE AND FINALLY ... SO AM I.