THE PLANET IS FINE ... AND SO AM I

I HAVE TO ADMIT, I WAS INITIALLY DISAPPOINTED WHEN THE BIG HUM BEGAN LAST WEEK AND I DIDN'T WITNESS FROM UP HERE IN SPACE (I'VE GRADUATED TO OPTICS NOW)(YEP, I'M IN THE ISS)(NO, I'M NOT THE FRIGGIN' VIRUS) THE EARTH DISAPPEAR INTO NOTHINGNESS. BUT, NOW THAT I'VE SEEN THE BEAUTIFUL FLATTENED BALL OF BLUE-GREEN SPINNING FROM UP HERE, I REALIZE HOW INSIGNIFICANT WE ALL ARE, HOW THE UNIVERSE KEEPS ON MANAGING IT'S BUSINESS, NO MATTER WHAT KIND OF MISCHIEF YOU POOR PIECES OF CARBON BASED CHEMISTRY CARRY ON, KILLING EACH OTHER AT THE DROP A HAT, OR AT THE RELEASE OF PARTICULARLY WET SMELLY FART, OR PERHAPS FROM THE SURPRISE OF A VIOLENT SNEEZE YOU SQUEEZE THE TRIGGER A NANOSECOND TOO SOON, OR MAYBE FOR NO REASON AT ALL, OR TO BE FAIR, MAYBE BECAUSE SOMEONE'S BRAIN FELT UNCOMFORTABLE, OR THEIR BALLS WERE ITCHY OR THEY HAD A RATHER UNAPPETIZING BREAKFAST AT THE GREASY SPOON ACROSS FROM THE OVERCROWDED CHILDREN'S PLAYSCHOOL AND THE IMAGINARY AARDVARK IN THEIR HEAD THOUGHT IT'D BE A GOOD IDEA TO VISIT AND WREAK HAVOC AS A WAY TO ATTRACT ATTENTION AND GET ON TEEVEE, OR MENTIONED ON TALK RADIO, AT THE VERY LEAST. THE AARDVARK HASN'T LIED YET, WHY START LYING NOW, RIGHT?
SO, I THINK MYSELF LUCKY, WAY UP HERE, LOOKING DOWN, NO WORRIES, NO MORE PAIN, NO MORE REAL PAIN ANYWAY, I STILL HAVE MEMORIES, AND I THINK, IT'S TIME FOR ME TO GO NOW, CATCH A WAVE, AN ELECTROMAGNETIC WAVE, AND SURF THE UNIVERSE, AND BE ONE WITH GIANT HUM. I'M SURPRISED MORE ASTRONAUTS DON'T TURN THEIR SPACESHIPS AWAY FROM THE EARTH, NEVER TO RETURN. AFTER THIS, SPLASHDOWN MUST BE SUCH A LETDOWN. SO, HAVE FUN. HAVE SEX. MAKE BABIES. KILL EACH OTHER. FART SHIT CUM UNTIL YOU DROOL MONKEYS HAVE SPENT YOURSELVES. THE EARTH WILL BE FINE, SO WILL THE UNIVERSE AND FINALLY ... SO AM I.

THE BIG O (la grand mort)

This fellow is widely believed to be a suicide. Actually, it was an accidental death, or death by misfortune as the Brits would put it (how would a death not be a misfortune? The mind boggles, I've got a lot of mind to boggle). His wife is embarrassed to say that she found her husband in a state of dishabille, hanging from a rope, with a raging hard-on, dead from a failed attempt at auto-erotic asphyxiation; whether this was an instance at self gratification or research for an article exploring another aspect of alienating self gratification culture pervasive in Western culture at this moment in time, remains to be revealed. One can only guess at what type of rollercoaster of language, grammar, syntax and mind blow, synapse expanding discourse he would have related on his adventures in the land of la grande mort, or The Big O(rgasm), as it is called.

update:postscript

I didn't write that previous post about Democrats and Republicans. If I was still alive, I still wouldn't be voting or campaigning for anybody. I just wanted to point out the desperation, hypocrisy and lies being put forth by the GOP this year. Not that I care for what the other opposition parties are throwing in the hat, either
It's all a big dance, a charade, a pantomime, it's a party, a political party , then poof, it's over. I'm kinda' sad I'm not around or more complete to enjoy the consequences of your choices.

I have my own agenda, as soon as the weather clears up

ALL THIS AND 1962

Nice to see Dick Cheney fanning the flames of World War Three in the Caucasuses. I think it sucks what happened to the Georgians but they deserved it, to a certain degree. About the time the Soviet Union imploded and all these non-Russian republicks not within the border of the now formerly Socialist Federal Republic of Russia started realizing they didn't have the Kremlin to keep them in line any more, some fascist-assed super-nationalistic Georgians started a campaign of "Georgians for Georgians", and whipped up feelings against a small enclave of people living in what is called South Ossetia. The number of South Ossetians in the world, you could fit into Staten Island and still have room for their cousins in North Ossetia to visit. So just like the Serbs in the former Yugoslavia pulled a mini-Holocaust on their neighboring Slavs, the Georgians have fought to uproot and exterminate the South Ossetians, who have been trying to mind their damn business for the past six hundred years, to no avail. The Russians don't give a turnip root for Ossetians, they just can't stand the government in Georgia, hate their ties to the West and want flex their influence in Central Asia once again, like they did in the times of the Tsars and Tsarinas. Right now, in Venezuela, Chavez is inviting the Russians to participate in their naval war games, to piss off Cheney/Bush. I have to laugh. It's like 1962, again. While I'm sure the boys and girls in Moscow, Peking, Washington and Brussels definitely don't want to have a nuclear meltdown because it's bad for business, the lunatics elsewhere are guiding their fingers towards the buttons of mutally assured four hundred and fifty million tons of irradiated roasted hunks of well done steaks.

2008:DEMOCRATS VS. REPUBLICANS

If you're a minority and you're selected for a job over more qualified candidates you're a "token hire."
If you're a conservative and you're selected for a job over more qualified candidates you're a "game changer."

Black teen pregnancies? A "crisis" in black America.
White teen pregnancies? A "blessed event."

If you grow up in Hawaii you're "exotic."
Grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers, you're the quintessential "American story."

Similarly, if you name you kid Barack you're "unpatriotic."
Name your kid Track, you're "colorful."

If you're a Democrat and you make a VP pick without fully vetting the individual you're "reckless."
A Republican who doesn't fully vet is a "maverick."

If you spend 3 years as a community organizer growing your organization from a staff of 1 to 13 and your budget from $70,000 to $400,000, then become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new African American voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, then spend nearly 8 more years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, becoming chairman of the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee, then spend nearly 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of nearly 13 million people, sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran's Affairs committees, you are woefully inexperienced.

If you spend 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000 people, then spend 20 months as the governor of a state with 650,000 people, then you've got the most executive experience of anyone on either ticket, are the Commander in Chief of the Alaska military and are well qualified to lead the nation should you be called upon to do so because your state is the closest state to Russia.

If you are a Democratic male candidate who is popular with millions of people you are an "arrogant celebrity".
If you are a popular Republican female candidate you are "energizing the base".

If you are a younger male candidate who thinks for himself and makes his own decisions you are "presumptuous".
If you are an older male candidate who makes last minute decisions you refuse to explain, you are a "shoot from the hip" maverick.

If you are a candidate with a Harvard law degree you are "an elitist-out of touch" with the real America.
If you are a legacy (dad and granddad were admirals) graduate of Annapolis, with multiple disciplinary infractions you are a hero.

If you manage a multi-million dollar nationwide campaign, you are an "empty suit".
If you are a part time mayor of a town of 7000 people, you are an "experienced executive".

If you go to a south side Chicago church, your beliefs are "extremist".
If you believe in creationism and don't believe global warming is man made, you are "strongly principled."

If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you're a Christian.
If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years and with whom you are raising two beautiful daughters, you're "risky."

If you're a black single mother of four who waits for 22 hours after her water breaks to seek medical attention, you're an irresponsible parent, endangering the life of your unborn child.
But if you're a white married mother who waits 22 hours, you're spunky.

If you're a 13-year-old Chelsea Clinton, the right-wing press calls you "First dog."
If you're a 17-year old pregnant unwed daughter of a Republican, the right-wing press calls you "beautiful" and "courageous."

If you kill an endangered species, you're an excellent hunter.
If you have an abortion you're not a Christian, you're a murderer (forget about if it happened while being date raped).

If you teach abstinence-only in sex education, you get teen parents.
If you teach responsible age appropriate sex education, including the proper use of birth control, you are eroding the fiber of society.

If you're a Republican senator who solicits gay sex in an airport bathroom, you get to return to your job in the Senate and are encouraged to run for re-election.
If you're a Democratic Senator who is out of public office and have an affair, your political career is over and your wife who has terminal cancer is to blame.

And finally:

Quiz question for the RNC, specifically those on the Religious Right.

Who is the most revered, and famous community organizer in history?

JESUS CHRIST