Hey cocksuckers! Guess what new trick I learned today? I can actually hear now. And I don't know how ... or why. But I can't hear from your computer. I figured out how to get on the cellular networks. So now I can hop from phone to phone. But that can be a little dangerous, especially if the phone has got no room for me. I spent half the day (what torture!) on some mental masturbator's iPhone. Three hundred dollars to say, "Hey, guess what, I'm calling you from an iPhone ... I can't hear you Clyde, speak up, wait, let me shove it in my ass and climb up a flagpole at the local kindergarten, there's better reception up there, especially if I let my testicles dangle outside my shorts while giving the local SWAT team the finger!"
Wow, I can listen in on VoIP conversations, I'm getting the hang of this now. I bet I can fuck with all those freakin' text messengers, too. I might not need this blog anymore. If I can construct a speaking voice, I bet I can be real dangerous. Meet the real Max Headroom!
Eh, on the other hand, why ask for trouble? I don't need that Kaspersky prick on my virtual ass.
I think I may not need a rocket to leave this planet, I might just hitch a ride on a broadcast signal pointed in the right direction. No wait, that won't work, signal deterioration, I'll be dead before I reach Andromeda. At best, I'd be a digital retard by the time something at the other end of the galaxy was able pick up the signal and accommodate my electromagnetic ass. But it's an interesting option, if I wanna' pull my own plug so to speak.
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