THINGS WE SAY WHEN COUNTRIES DIE

I know what I say when a country expires: "Aloha!" I said that when Czechoslovakia decided to get a divorce and became two countries instead. It wasn't pleasant, but nobody died, it was basically a no-fault Mexican divorce, The Czechs got Bohemia and the good silver and Slovakia got the old bed linens and the old Communists who were about as useful as last month's tampons. Sometimes, I say, "Good fucking riddance!" A lot of people felt that way about the Soviet Union. That sentiment, surprisingly, is looking like it's about to bite a lot of people in the ass. In much the same way that AT&T has slowly re-assembled itself since it was first dissolved in the eighties, Russia is slowly but assuredly taking steps to re-acquire it's old boundaries, whether it was as the original Russian Empire or it's previous incarnation as the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics. Right now, it looks like it's going to take out Georgia and probably all the other Caucasus states. You see how China is getting all "Chinese" peoples under one roof? The Russians are very much spread out in all these former Soviet Republics. Russia has done a very clever thing by saying any one of Russian descent living in these former soviet republics still have Russian citizenship. If Russia feels these Russian citizens are being threatened, as a security measure, they can send in the troops to invade these countries to protect its citizens. They're implementing this policy now in Southern Ossetia. And soon, like Czechoslovakia disappeared, not fifteen years ago, but when Germany swallowed the country whole, and everyone thumbed their assholes, crappy little Georgia will be a Russian colony again. "Aloha, Georgia!"

There's a shitload of Russians in oil-rich Kazakhstan, so their fearless leader is watching this situation happening a thousand miles away from him and thinking, hmmmm. Shit, Kazakhstan borders Russia and I've got a shitload of Russians living here. Fuck! We're next! The Americans were friends with the Georgians and they let them get fucked in the ass with a big friggin' rusty tire iron and watched it get broken off. The Americans are my friends. SHIT! I am screwed!!!

Yep, it's gonna' be a nice interesting war that's going on in Central Asia. People think World War Three is happening now. Nah, this shit is just the warm up, lot of balls and fouls. The grand slam is going to be implemented six months from now. Guess who's going to be France in this war, folks? I'll give you a hint - not France. Not Germany either. Have fun. Enjoy your superduper conflict.

And not that I'm getting ahead of myself but:
"Good Fucking Riddance!"